Welcoming a child into your life is an immensely personal and life-changing event that completely shifts your entire perspective. That being said, babies can be hilarious and unbelievably cute! These too-honest baby quotes span the adorable to the funny and are totally relatable for first-time parents and experienced parents alike!
101 Adorable, Funny, and Way Too Honest Baby Quotes
- A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house. -Milwaukee Journal
- A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad. -John Andrew Holmes
- Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. -Shannon Fife
- A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. -Unknown
- The art of being a parent is to sleep when baby is not looking. -Unknown
- Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. -Ed Howe
Ain’t that the truth!
Here are a few baby quotes that couldn’t be any truer.
- You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. -Franklin P. Jones
- When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!’. -Bruce Lansky
- Before I got married I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories. -John Wilmot
- The only things kids wear out faster than their shoes are their parents. -John J. Plomp
- 24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer! -Jodi Picoult
- The hardest part of raising a child is having to stick to all these rules yourself! -Unknown
- Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers…but just a little toothless smile and mummy and daddy are happy! -Sokrates
- Babies are always more trouble than you thought – and more wonderful. -Charles Osgood
- Starting today, it is me who’ll decide when we get up! -Unknown
- People who say they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one. -Leo Burke
- Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough. -Wilhelm Busch
- Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. -Carol Burnett
- A conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. -Unknown
- There’s this girl who stole my heart… She calls me Daddy! -Unknown
- Life doesn’t get more real than having a newborn at home. -Eric Church
- I have given up single life and have moved to a shared apartment, I like it there! -Unknown
- Today I have given notice on my studio apartment and have moved in with my parents. – Baby -Unknown
Because they are worth all the trouble.
Hey, we know why we created these tiny humans. These baby quotes are all about how our little ones, as tiring as they may be, are so worth it.
- My mother had a great deal of trouble with me. But I think she enjoyed it. -Mark Twain
- A toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do all day”¦ -Unknown
- Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math. -Unknown
- Your home has just been enlarged… by 2 feet. -Unknown
- Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens and happy kids. -Unknown
- My fingers may be small, but I’ve got daddy (mom, my parents) wrapped around them. -Unknown
- There is only one pretty child in the world – and every mother has it! -Chinese proverb
- Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate. -Anne Lamott
- Although there are many trial marriages there is no such thing as a trial child. -Gail Sheehy
- Every baby needs a lap. -Henry Robin
- The hot, moist smell of babies fresh from naps. -Barbara Lazear Asche
- As a mother, my job is to take care of what is possible and trust God with the impossible. -Ruth Bell Graham
- Children reinvent your world for you. -Susan Sarandon
- It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes a complete answer to those who contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species, that every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. -Charles Dickens
- An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. -Queen Victoria
- Does Grandpa love to babysit his grandchildren? Are you kidding? By day, he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctors or chip shots on the golf course. At night, he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha. -Hal Boyle
- Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. -Mark Twain
- Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. -John Wilmot
- God’s interest in the human race is nowhere better evinced than in obstetrics. -Martin H. Fischer
- It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. -Barbara Kingsolver
- Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud “snort” noises.) I don’t know why parents don’t do this more often. Usually, it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way, it quiets him down. If you’re a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won’t have his friends hanging around your house all the time. -P. J. O’Rourke
- Always kiss your children goodnight””even if they’re already asleep. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr
- I didn’t know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child. -Loretta Lynn
- His little hands stole my heart. His little feet ran away with it. -Joshua Riley
- Babies smile in their sleep because they’re listening to the whispering of angels. -Unknown
You might not need a baby quote to tell you that the days are long!
- The days are long, but the years are short. -Gretchen Rubin
- I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. -Isiah 46:4
- The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. -Rajneesh
- Fairy tales do come true. Look at us, we had you. -Gemma Grace
- Sometimes the littlest things take up the most room in your heart. -Winnie the Pooh
- There’s really nothing quite so sweet as tiny little baby feet. -Unknown
- If I am thinking correctly,” said Pooh, “a new baby is probably, undoubtedly the grandest gift that could ever be. -Winnie the Pooh
My personal favorite baby quote!
- And though she be but little, she is fierce. -William Shakespeare
- Baby ”“ a little bit of heaven sent down to earth. -ThirtyOne
- Hold on to the tiny moments and cherish the little snuggles. They grow up so fast. -Heather Stillufaen
- Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” -C.S. Lewis
- A man is not complete until he has seen the baby he has made. -Sammy Davis Jr.
- For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart. -1 Samuel 1:27
- “Having a baby is a life-changer. It gives you a whole other perspective on why you wake up every day.” ”“ Taylor Hanson
- “A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.” ”“ Carl Sandburg
- “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” ”“ Don Herold
- “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” ”“ Lemony Snicket
- “The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain’t spitting it out.” ”“ Justin Halpern
- “When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ’27 months.’ ”˜He’s two’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.” ”“ George Carlin
- “I am very thankful and blessed to have a healthy and happy baby boy and baby mama.” ”“ Eric Church
A baby quote about farts to give you a laugh.
- “Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” ”“ Tina Fey
- “Having a baby is part of a woman’s life, and it is surely a great waste to be afraid of life.” ”“ Joan Lowery Nixon
- “Having a baby is one of the most wonderful things in your life, as well as the hardest thing in your life.” ”“ Nuno Bettencourt
- “It is a smile of a baby that makes life worth living.” -Debasish Mridha
- “Like stars are to the sky, so are the children to our world. They deserve to shine!” -Chinonye J. Chidolue
- “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” -Johnny Depp
- “You know what the great thing about babies is? They are like little bundles of hope. Like the future in a basket.” -Lish McBride
- “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” -Don Herold
- “Children see magic because they look for it.” -Christopher Moore
- “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” -Lemony Snicket
- “It’s never the right time to have kids, but it’s always the right time for screwing. God’s not dumb. He knows how it works.” -Justin Halpern
- “Babies used to make me nervous, but these squirmy things are awesome once you’ve read the manual.” -David Z. Hirsch
- “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” -Hodding Carter Jr.
- “Children have neither past nor future. They enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” -Jean De La Bruyere
- “Babies laughing is like opium.” -Neil Patrick Harris
- “Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.” -Fran Lebowitz
- “To profoundly understand a baby, you must first be a mother.” -Debasish Mridha
- The most precious jewels you’ll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children.” -Unknown
- “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” -Milton Berle
- “There’s nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn’t even have to matter what they’re laughing about.” -Criss Jami
- “That’s why babies cry so much. All of a sudden having a body is a lot to deal with.” -Ron Koertge
- “Still the most magical day of my life was the day I became a mom.” -Linda Becker
- “Perfection only exists in babies and pastries.” -Gayle Wray
- “Make no mistake about why these babies are here- they are here to replace us.” -Jerry Seinfeld
- “You’re my favorite reason to lose sleep.” -Unknown
- “The amazing thing about becoming a parent is that you will never again be your own first priority.” -Olivia Wilde
- “A baby is born with a need to be loved- and never outgrows it.” -Frank A. Clark
- “A baby has shining eyes. It walks open-hearted into the world and spreads magic.” -Sigrid Leo
- “A baby’s cry is precisely as serious as it sounds.” -Jean Liedloff
- “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” -Elizabeth Stone
- “For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.” -Unknown
- “It is a moment of pure ecstasy and satisfaction when you see a smile flicker on baby’s lips, just as they gently pass into a deep slumber.” -Unknown
And to end on the truest of all baby quotes…
- “All those cliches, those things you hear about having a baby and motherhood- all of them are true. And all of them are the most beautiful things you will ever experience.” -Penelope Cruz
Whatever you needed a baby quote for, I hope our list has helped you out! Sometimes you just need a little extra inspiration to get you through the day when parenting or a good laugh. If you have more funny and adorable baby quotes, let us know in the comments! And, if you are looking for other moms to swap advice and stories with be sure to head to our Rookie Moms Facebook Group.
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Amber is the CEO and mama in charge at Rookie Moms! She is raising six amazing humans and has been through a lot as a mom including high-risk pregnancy (preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome), adoption, navigating special needs, working from home, and more. Now she's on a mission to pass along the knowledge she's learned... from one mama to another!
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