On being a sexy mama, instead of just a mama

Another post from Shana, who seems to have endless energy to explore ways to feel good and look good at the same time. Don’t be scared off by her bold tips! Read closely for concrete suggestions. That’s what we love about our special guest from Ain’t No Mom Jeans.

Sexy Mama: 4 Strategies To Boost Your Sexy Factor

When the topic of sex (or sexy) comes up, I always find it helpful to chat with my husband. Not only does he always have an opinion on this topic, but it is usually something very simple and to the point. When asked what “items” a mom could wear to look sexier, his response (after the eye-roll) can best be summarized by the punch-line of the old joke: “Show up naked. Bring beer.”

But….the problem, as I see it, is that sexiness is just as much about a feeling as it is about a certain look. Yes, we can show up naked (with beer), and we love that you guys just look past poochy stomaches and saggy boobs and merely focus on the fun that’s about to start….but for us (or me, at least) it’s not so easy. I need to feel it.

Sexiness is really all about feeling delicious. Sexiness is very different from pretty. Sexiness doesn’t require perfection (thank GOD). Sexiness is something that all women can achieve, regardless of body type, looks, or age. It just requires that we get our head in the game.

Oh, oh.

As moms, getting our head in the game can be the hardest part. We’re focused on the kiddos, we’re focused on the house, the chores, or trying to remember something that we know we’ve forgotten. And while I do believe sexiness (or feeling delicious) is a state of mind, there are a couple of tricks we can try to help us get our head in the game. Here are my top four:

1. Wear a Sexy Bra. And (gasp!) Matching Panties

Sexy bras are not nude. Sexy bras do not have insanely thick straps. Sexy bras are never called “t-shirt bras”. Sexy bras do not cover so much of the bust region that you can touch your chin to the cup. Sexy bras come in beautiful colors, have a bit of lace or ribbon or something, and are available in all sizes, for all moms.

Nursing? Bella Materna’s French Lace Nursing Bra is gorgeous and comfortable. I can personally vouch for the fabulousness. I wore my first one so often I had to purchase another.

Large bust? Check out Victoria’s Secret Full Cup collection, or HerRoom.com (see below for more info).

Flat chest? Try the Occhi Verdi by La Perla line (it’s a lower cost La Perla line). They make some gorgeous triangle bras.

Lastly, HerRoom.com has the best navigation of any lingerie site I’ve seen, and the brand list is staggering. You can select your exact size (and trust me, they have every size, from Size 0 to a 56DDD), then, once all of the bras load, you can use their navigation at the left to refine further. You can then decide to narrow down to only the lace bras in your specified size, or only the push-up, etc. It’s fantastic.

And don’t forget the panties.

2. Rock the Men’s Shirt Look (pictured above)

A women slipping into a man’s white button down is just so classically sexy. It’s easy to do from the comfort of your home, a bit harder to do if you plan to go out in public. Here are a few tricks:

Look for your husband’s most sheer, lightweight shirt. You want something that floats over you, and something that is a bit sheer, to show a hint of your shape underneath.
If your hubby’s shirt isn’t going to work, buy your own men’s shirt. Again, look for something a bit sheer, in 100% cotton. Stretch dress shirts just don’t have the right drape for this look. Banana Republic always seems to have Men’s size small dress shirts on sale for $20.
Don’t be afraid to check out the boy’s department. If you have very long arms, however, you are better off in the men’s department.
Also try a women’s button down shirt in a larger size. My current favorite men’s shirt look is achieved with a J. Crew women’s button down that I bought on sale, several sizes too big.
Layer your man’s shirt over a pair of skinny jeans or leggings paired with tall flat boots, like Kira Knightly, here. Or, wear with bootcut jeans, heels and some layered necklaces.

3. Boobs, Boobs, Boobs

You got ’em. Flaunt ’em….subtly. My favorite trick is to wear a low v-neck shirt with a delicate necklace that hangs just at the top of my cleavage. It’s the “You look different, better somehow, but I can’t put my finger on it” vibe. The proper length for this necklace will vary from person-to-person, but it’s generally around 21 inches, much longer than most necklaces. Take your favorite little pendant to a jeweler and have them create the right chain for you. It doesn’t need to be very fancy or flashy. For example,Â Gorjana’s Vine Cluster Necklace would be just enough shine to draw the eye.

5. Legs, Legs, Legs

For sexiness, this formula never fails:Â Lots of leg + Stiletto heels.

But this combo strikes fear in many mom’s hearts. So for your next date night,Â please keep the following in mind:

Opaque black tights forgive many leg sins. And opaque black tights paired with black stilettos (whether it be ankle boots, pumps, gladiators) look amazing with virtually anything.
Short hemlines look best with slightly demure, flowy tops. A-line tops or babydoll tops are good choices. And remember: A-line or babydoll tops hide poochy stomachs.
Hate your legs? Try sexy patterned tights and stilettos with your pencil skirt. So hot.
Stilettos:Â Not negotiable. All women should own one pair. As high as you can manage. Stilettos are the shoes with the tall, skinny heel. They are not wedges, or any shoe with a 1” heel. Stilettos are pure sex. You can, however, find comfortable stilettos. I’ve had good luck (in the comfort department) with Guess, Betsy Johnson, and Target’s Gladiator sandal.

So give these tricks a try. If your gorgeous bra and stiletto heels aren’t enough to keep your mind from wandering back to the kids on your next date night…well then, we’ll have to send the sexy police after you. Or at least the outfit.

xo,

photo: helgasms! on flickr

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Whitney

RookieMoms.com co-founder Whitney lives with her husband, son, and daughter in the San Francisco Bay Area where she writes about parenting, crafts, and activities that moms can do with babies in tow. She and Heather also publish 510Families.com, a site for East Bay parents.